When Offensive Comments Happen

At some point most of us will encounter someone spewing out something ignorant about our ethnicity or our gender.  You would think that once you reach the esteemed halls of law school that it would stop.  Unfortunately, there are people seemingly so steeped in privilege that law school is one of the first times they are “forced” to interact with people of color.   But for the rest of us, we have to often be the only or one of the few people of color or Latinas-period-in our section or class. By being so isolated we are given an added burden of being the voice for our people, and having to prove misguided (i.e. racist/sexist) minds wrong.  Talk about adding insult to injury.

When I was in law school, my student org approached an administrator to try to get help regarding some of the very offensive comments being aimed at Hispanic students.  I wish I could say this admin helped, instead they reminded us that some people need to have thicker skins…

As much as I hope that stupid commentary about race or women has stopped–I’m not that naive.  It’s more likely than not that someone will say/has said something offensive about a group of people you belong to, or your appearance, and/or your intellectual ability as they think it relates to your ethnicity/race/gender.  It’s more likely than not that you will or already have felt isolated and alone. How will you react to those comments? How have you reacted?  Should you ignore it or call people out on this inappropriate behavior?

In my experience, I always try to determine– is this coming from ignorance or malice?  Because one type may be forgiven and corrected, the other must be corrected.

I would suggest, even when upset, to react to ignorant comments in a rational manner because no one tends to be pay attention when someone starts to yell.  And then if you’re a woman, then we’re just labeled as hysterical or “angry” when we show any sign of emotion.  To get your point across in class or at meetings, be as calm as possible.  If you don’t think that’s doable at that moment then come back to that comment later.  You can even confront the person one-on-one after class or via email if you prefer.  More likely than not, that person will be embarrassed and defensive when called out.  But if you’re the rational, logical person you’re going to come out on top.  Plus, standing up for yourself will give you the confidence you need when you feel like no one is with you.  This person may not be appreciative or even willing to concede how they’re wrong, but knowing that you won’t sit idly by when they’re acting ignorant will make them think twice before saying something stupid.

Now, if it’s malicious and done to provoke, you have to demand resolution ASAP because it’s not a you-need-thicker-skin problem, especially in an academic setting, it’s this school-needs-to-get-their-stuff-in-gear problem because harassment cannot be tolerated.  You shouldn’t be ok with people making purposeful racist or sexist comments, and your school shouldn’t be ok with that either.  People who are purposefully harassing others need to be held accountable.  The fact that you’re in an academic setting means you should have more protective measures than in the workforce.  I know it feels awkward to make waves or to be seen as sensitive, angry, whatever.  But D-bags are banking on that to continue harassing others.  Don’t help them by not standing up against bad behavior.

This may mean you have to be the first to speak up, but usually when one person is able to stand up and say that’s not ok, others will follow.  Remember also that there’s powers in numbers and that’s why it’s important to network and connect with other students (and alumni) like you because usually you are not alone in what you’re experiencing.

And yes, I know, it’s not fair that this is still our burden to carry.  I know it’s not fair that we have to temper ourselves when others get to act crazy.  But, things are not yet equal and this (for me, at least) has proven to be the best approach.

The biggest reason to speak up is because it can help others. A big risk that occurs when no one asks for someone to be held accountable is that the harassment continues and many students of color, including Latinas, decide to transfer, withdraw, or even just stop interacting in class.   Instead, you should give thought to demanding action from higher-ups because the school has a duty to correct these problems.   Realize that it is right for you to defend yourself against offensive and ignorant comments.