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On Being Liked…
Over vacation, I finally read The Likeability Trap: How to Break Free and Succeed as You Are by Alicia Menendez. I’ve had it for a while and fiiiiinally read it—and I’m so glad I did. I recommend it, especially for those a few years into their careers and trying to figure out the next steps. The Likeability Trap is about just that—the trap that women fall into when trying to succeed at work. It’s the rock and hard place where if we’re too nice we’re seen as ineffective but if we’re not nice enough we’re seen as aggressive and angry—far too emotional to be leaders. The book goes into case…
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Sidebar: Is the World Ending? asking for a friend.
Wow. What a weird month. I have family in Tampa and prayed to Cristo Negro that they’d be safe. Thankfully they made it through, but then the horror in Mexico City, then more hurricanes–it’s too much. On top of all the political garbage… I avoid a lot of news and politics now because I know I can’t consume this horror in such a big scale. It’s too much. But I’m doing what little I can to help with DACA and the hurricanes aftermath. Ok, thankfully, not everything was horrible. Though, now that I think about it, it is kind of comical–E and I tried to celebrate the end of summer…
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Dichos de Mami that Got Me Through Law School
Seeing that mother’s day just passed (for most of Latin America) and many more celebrate this Sunday, I thought it would be great to share some of my mom’s favorite dichos, osea, sayings that helped me become a lawyer—even if I didn’t know it at the time and even if I’d never in a million years tell her this (haha she’s reading this right now, I’m sure 🙂 ). One. No se dice que, se dice mande. Etched into my brain from infancy is the need to be polite. And in the real legal world, politeness goes a long way—especially when most other attorneys’ default is to rage and…
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Why We Talk About Our Struggles
There was a big back and forth online this week about the discussion that took place between Jessica William and Salma Hayek at some like women in Hollywood retreat. LA Times had a transcript on the event. Essentially, this was a huge, missed opportunity in intersectional feminism. Jessica tried to explain how her identity as a black woman is almost always on the forefront of how people see her and Salma (and Shirley MacLaine [da fuq]) dismissed this as almost silly. On top of also making some statements that seemed to imply programs that are akin to affirmative action are condescending… But Remezcla did a great piece on this situation…
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Hidden Figures: On White Feminism and Race
I saw Hidden Figures last Friday and was so moved by the movie. The movie is about Black women working at NASA during the space race and the strides they made and struggles they fought just for decency and respect. Before I get into it, I just need to take a moment and say that I cannot even imagine what life would be like to be as smart as Katherine Johnson (played by Taraji P. Henson) like how is it even possible to understand math in that way? Maybe because I’m always on the struggle bus when it comes to math and science so it extra blew me away, but like HOW…
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Radical Women: This Bridge Called My Back
I have wanted to review This Bridge Called My Back: Writings by Radical Women of Color forever and figured this review would be a great way to end Latinx History Month with a bang! For those that may not know, TBCMB is a collection of essays, letters, and poems of various women of color and it is edited Cherrie Moraga and Gloria Anzaldua. Composed in the early 80s, the writers are considered Third World Feminists. They are women of color, feminists, fighting against the oppression of poverty, racism, sexism, and xenophobia. It’s a really incredible collection of voices that resonated with me even though the pieces were written before I…
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Saving Our Sisters: The Fight to End the Detention & Deportation of Central American Refugees
This is a story about a woman fleeing the pain and terror of sexual violence in Honduras only to face the indignity and inhumanity of prison profiteering in the United States. Laura* is a citizen of Honduras. She built a happy life in her hometown and is a mother to four children. Life was humble, but happy. Then as the war on drugs escalated, the narcotraffickers increased their use of violence to intimidate and control the communities.** The drug gangs prowled the towns and intimidated the locals. One narcotrafficker eventually brutally raped Laura. After the assault, he continued to seek her out and that is when Laura realized that her life…
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My Name’s Not Sweetie: Harassment in the Courtroom
The first time I felt like I was being truly patronized at work I got into a shouting match with the guy over the phone and threatened a lawsuit. It was not super professional, but in my defense I was still a baby attorney and this guy was just the worst! We were having a conversation and he kept interrupting and prefacing everything with, “listen to me.” I became furious and went off and then he got mad and eventually I hung up. After I was able to gather my thoughts I was so upset with myself for letting that guy get to me. After that, I decided to make a…
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Mass Shootings & Domestic Violence
I have gone back and forth to figure out what to say about what happened in Orlando. This weekend I moved and haven’t had my internet fully re-installed so at first I was only seeing bits and pieces of this horrible event. While any mass shooting conjures up sympathy and anger for them and their families, when I realized that this was also a specific target against people of color in the LGBTQ community I was horrified—sorry I don’t have more eloquent words to describe it. I’m horrified by these crimes and even more upset that politicians—our representatives—refuse to act on legislation that will keep us safe because they are bound by…
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Support Starts with You: Sexual Assault Awareness Month
As April is coming to close, I wanted to take a moment to recognize that it’s Sexual Assault Awareness Month. It’s a topic that is close to home because, as I’ve grown in my practice, my main type of work has been with advocating and representing survivors of sex assault; the majority being Latinas. Unfortunately, the stats are really dismal for our community in regards to sexual violence against both men and women. And so, it’s a sad truth that many of us have examples of experiences where we have either been victims of sexual violence or have come damn near close to being victimized. When I think of…