Taking Care: A Duty to Self and to Others

“We’ve been living in a harvest.” Sherrilyn Ifil reminded us of this at the ACLU-IL luncheon. She began her keynote reminding us that we’ve been leaving in the harvest of civil rights and individual liberties thanks to the hard work from so many before us. And because it felt like an abundance we thought it would last forever.  She was much more eloquent but it is an analogy that has stuck with me. It stuck because it’s so true; both the hard truth that perhaps we weren’t as vigilant in protecting our rights and the systems as we should have been. And that we are now facing a moment, especially in our profession, where there is hard work to do to protect and expand the rights for those that come after us.

I will admit to you there are some days where I don’t want to do it. I get frustrated with the just how ok some people are with how the erosion of rights and mistreatment of others. It is disheartening to be constantly reminded just how Othered the US immigrant is by their neighbors, and as some news reports show, even by their own family.

But this reminds me of when I was a new attorney representing survivors of violent crimes. Early on it was jarring to hear the incidents of violence, the violence of poverty, and impacted trauma over and over again. Fortunately, I realized quickly that I needed to create some coping mechanisms to be a zealous advocate without harming my own mental health. Creating these barriers and processes helped me excel in my craft and I was fortunate to do the work for nine years before moving on to policy advocacy.

What does representing crime survivors have to do with fighting for our democracy and civil liberties? I realized that if we’re in this for the long-haul, if we are really in a time of sowing in hopes a bountiful harvest years (decades?) from now, then I have to figure out how to offset the bad, the disheartening, and traumatic so that it is not a constant and doesn’t drag me down or impede my ability to still do zealous advocacy.

Here are some internal systems I’m putting in place to help me stay committed, informed, and yet not disillusioned/forlorn about the state of affairs based on the same coping mechanisms I used when I was a new attorney trying to mitigating vicarious trauma.

One. Take a break. I know I said it’s time to work, but I fear for many of us we think that means it’s 24/7 work and news cycle. That’s not necessary. Give yourself permission to take time away from your work, the news, or whatever platforms you feel give you stress. Knowing that you can take a mental health day (or more) eases some of the tension. If we’re committed to advocating for our rights in the long-term then recognizing the need for calm and rest is paramount. It is especially important to recognize what triggers your stress and minimize it. For example, I quit cable news and it has been such a smart choice for me. I stick with local news–and good local news will cover national issues. We already know things are ridiculous, we don’t need to be reminded of it all day and all night.

Two. Be a trusted voice. Misinformation is everywhere, but you are a trusted voice in your community. You are a leader in your family. It is important you are a voice of reason within these spaces. When you hear misinformation think of ways to combat it. I’m reminded of trial advocacy when one cross-examines a witness. You don’t cross examine a witness who is lying like one who is confused, right? Your approaches are different. The same with how to address misinformation. It may be frustrating dealing with friends and family who are espousing illogical things but realize that they are being targeted. A large portion of Latinos use social media to obtain their news and are targets for mis/dis-info campaigns. We shouldn’t be mad at the targets, especially if they are people we care about. Using your voice isn’t just about course-correcting people, but connecting with your elected leaders to make sure they know where you stand on any and every issue that impacts your community.

Three. Don’t break away. The easiest thing to do right now is to just let apathy take over. To be so frustrated with the state of it all, with the (mis)behavior of others, with the people who don’t seem to understand that they went against their own interest, or maybe only valued their own interest and now need support and help. Trust me, I get that. But I am reminded that my clients didn’t have to be perfect for me to have given them my all, so why doesn’t my beloved community get the same benefit? It is normal to feel frustrated, but that’s when you see point one–take a break to refocus and come back the next day (or week) ready to do the work.

Why do I feel compelled to keep at this? Because I recognize that I benefitted greatly from leaders who did the hard work to advance the rights of others; many who did not get to enjoy the fruits of their labor. Now as we face a precipice where others may be denied the very rights and liberties I enjoyed, I feel a responsibility to commit to doing what I can to sow a future that feels bountiful for others. I recognize I can’t do that 100% of the time but even if I can only do it a little at a time, I am doubling down on staying engaged, informed, and supportive. I hope you will too!