A Survival Framework: The Magic is in the Balance

At this point, I am resigned to the fact that life will continue to be “unprecedented,” with extreme highs and lows. I guess such is life, and we have to figure out how to not just survive it but overcome it and find joy, hope, resiliency–all the good things. 

Again, I don’t want to come off as polly-anna–things are rough, to say the least, and it’s only day two. But I was an immigration attorney, on the ground, during the first term and I practiced for a long time prior to that. I am old enough to have a plan and also wise enough to know that I don’t know what all is coming down the bend. I recognize this a long-term event but there are a few milestones we can keep our eyes fastened on as a possible relief to this. 

Here are some ways I am responding–

1. Figure out what is real. As I said, it’s day two. We already have constitutional attacks, threats to raid churches, and a whole bunch of other stuff. It’s purposeful to be hit with a blitz like this. If we’re distracted by everything we can’t do anything about it. So figure out what’s real. What I mean by that, is what is a real threat to you, to your community, loved ones, or a value that you wish to uphold and protect? Figure that out and focus on that. If we all take our little bit of the struggle, it’s easier to address it effectively rather than posting anything and everything without real action or knowledge on what to do next. And real includes IRL. Get out of the internet when it comes to your civic action (I mean obvi keep engaging with me lol) but you must find the work being done near you to get involved and support those efforts as much as you can. I live far from the border and posting a pic of people crying at the border doesn’t really do anything. And no shade if folks shared the video, because we have to witness the ugliness of this, but ensure your actions go beyond sharing instastories. It’s much easier to do when you have just one or two areas of interest to which you can give your all. 
2. Minimize the noise. This part will be more difficult but it is so important that you find ways to not get caught in a rabbit hole or overwhelming distraction of all that’s happening. I don’t mean ignore it, but what is important is that you regulate how you receive information, how much of it, and how it impacts you. One thing I’ve done is stopped watching 24 hour/ cable news. It was leaving me frantic and anxious. Instead, I’ve increased my local news and found happiness and relief in it. Can you imagine? Seriously, the local news is just as good at delivering updates on federal/national issues; their goal isn’t to keep your attention 24/7 so they deliver it with much more even-temper; and I get to learn about really important local issues that I would not normally have known about. Consider quitting 24 hour news, especially if it’s giving you anxiety. 
3. Minimize the harm. Like the above, if you are working on a really rough topic, (hello fellow immigration attorneys), you have to figure out a way to minimize your exposure to traumatic content. Lawyers are not immune to vicarious trauma. Seeing people mourn and in serious plights eats away at you. If you have to expose yourself to it at work, don’t double down on the content during your time off. For example, that video of people at the border responding to the shutdown of CBP one. It’s a woman sobbing and if I’m honest I haven’t watched. I know from my decade + of representing survivors of violent crimes that forcing myself to hear those details will drain me and lessen my ability to be a good advocate. Find a way to minimize exposure. Don’t feel guilty that you are not partaking or watching–you are working and that is what makes a difference. 
4. Find joy/distraction. This sounds so corny lol but you do need a coping mechanism that is real and impactful not the getting-your-nails-done as a type of self-care, but real action that makes a difference to your mental health. For me, I’m going back to writing. I realized that I miss it and it’s so different from making videos or digital content. I will still create those, but I realize I need to write, even if no one reads it. And I can’t only write about deep, serious, sad things. I need to give myself space to feel happiness in my writing as well. Find that same creative/physical (healthy!) outlet that allows for a mental reprieve. 

The magic is in the balance. You can’t be 100% in every issue area and remain functioning. But you also can’t detach completely. Just like they want us to be overwhelmed, they want us to throw our hands up and say, “I give up.” As advocates and leaders, in whatever space we’re in, we have a gift and duty to speak up and out about the needs of our community–however you define it. Consider this type of framework that allows you to better manage and mitigate. When you do that, you’ll likely find as I have, that your advocacy is stronger, more refined, and less overwhelming. 651 days until midterms. Abrazos.