Celebrating Accomplishments: Si Se Pudo

It’s that time of year again–Bar announcements.  And I’ve seen many have already gotten really great news!  Felicidades! It’s such an exciting time! So this seemed like a great time to talk about the importance of acknowledging professional accomplishments.  A common theme we see as women is that our professional achievements aren’t celebrated as strongly as events tied to family.

This article does a great job of describing the problem.  I also remember reading an article years ago where a girl from a small town, where many of her peers couldn’t go to college because of teen pregnancy, graduated high school and was accepted into college.  Her achievement was so foreign that her community didn’t really rally around her–not the way they would celebrate and help others via baby showers, etc.  It wasn’t until she dropped out her sophomore year because she became pregnant that her family finally threw her a party–a baby shower. That story has always stuck with me because of the sadness she felt that none of the hard work she put in seemed very important.

And obviously having a child, getting married–big life milestones are important and should be celebrated and supported.  I get that.  But too often, women’s career goals aren’t given any deference or they’re viewed as secondary to other life events–when, big surprise, men’s goals aren’t treated this way.

Why is that?  Why aren’t our professional accomplishments celebrated the same way as a wedding?  A common response may be that women are more likely to sacrifice career for marriage/children, but let’s keep it real: 1) that expectation is imposed on us because we’re women–it’s not just a natural thing that we always willingly and happily accept and 2) the idea that we should strive for marriage/kids is pushed on us more than other goals (because we’re women)–just ask any man around you, if he’s ever been told that the highest thing he can be is a father and likely the answer will be no.  Because men can be fathers and (insert any vocation they want).  They aren’t expected to only do one or the other in the same way it’s expected of us.

And there is a real repercussion when we discourage women from considering other professional capacities. The most major situation being that men continue to be the ones that earn positions of power.  Those positions of power come with the ability to make decisions that impact us-both individually and our community as a whole.  We know there are ramifications when only one type of group gets to make decisions.

So how can we find a balance to not reduce the importance of marriage/parenthood for those that choose it, but still actively encourage and celebrate professional achievements?

One. Celebrate yourself.  Seriously, when you work hard and got accepted into law school; passed first semester; got your first job; passed the bar!–whatever you feel immensely proud about–celebrate it.  Either with yourself or make sure others know how excited you are about this accomplishment.  Often people don’t get (especially those outside of the legal world) just how special it is to be published; to get a clerking position; etc.  Shout about it, just like you would an engagement!

Two. Celebrate your sisters. We can be so bad at self-promotion.  It’s awkward and can feel like you’re out-right bragging. So help each other out and make it a point to really congratulate and acknowledge your hard-working friends and sisters.  I know everyone goes out and gets hammered the day (or weekend) they pass the bar (or was that just my friends?)–but do a little more–have a small dinner with your people to take in this moment of real professional achievement.  I know I’m really quick to send congratulations cards for baby announcements and engagements, but in addition to that, I’m now going to try to recognize and celebrate professional goals achieved by my friends.

Three. Include your family. One of the biggest hurdles that comes with a law degree (when it comes to your family) is the feeling of disconnect when you’re one of the only (or the only) person to have earned a professional degree.  The whole legal world may be foreign to your family–I remember a few of my family members not understanding why I had to take a test for a license when I had just graduated law school.  Take the time to explain to them the work you put in; the time and dedication it took; and celebrate with them.

Similarly, take the time to acknowledge the accomplishments of your family members.  The cousin that just made the high school soccer team at her high school; or a sibling that’s thinking of enrolling into college–sometimes all it takes for us to realize that our goals are possible and important is for someone we care about to acknowledge it.

Congratulations to everyone who took the Bar this summer! It was hard work–and your hard work will pay off!