How to not Annoy Coworkers in Meetings

I attend a ridiculous amount of meetings every month.  Some that are really necessary, and some that are like…why am I here? They are not my favorite thing to do at work, but in many cases, these meetings may be the main way you interact with various members of your team so it’s always good to take advantage of this time (as painful or boring as it may be) and do your best to present your best self.  It’s important because not only can you build a good reputation by following good meeting “etiquette” but the flip side can happen where you start annoying coworkers or they begin to question your ability because of your behavior—you def don’t want that to happen.

Here are things to remember so your coworkers don’t roll their eyes every time you walk into a meeting:

One. Don’t talk to just talk. I think lawyers especially love the sound of their own voice and want to be seen as sage.  This is so natural to us because most of us by nature and professional training are opinionated.  I know I am–I have an opinion about err’thing! So then what happens at meetings is that often when we have a similar experience or any input to give—we give it. But, meetings are tedious and long in general.  Be very aware that the information you’re providing is valid and that it is actually furthering the conversation otherwise you’re contributing to the tediousness of the situation.  If, instead, your comment is just seconding (or third-ing) what someone else has said or you’re mentioning it just to provide extraneous info, maybe don’t.   I’m a big fan of the WAIT (Why Am I Talking?) method and try to use it at most meetings.

Two.  You’re not the expert in everything. I think this is a big problem newer attorneys and professionals encounter because we want to show how smart and capable we are while also providing something to the team.  However–it can be off-putting when the most junior person seemingly always has the answer. Even if it’s the right answer, if you’re constantly jumping in to answer questions that are being asked of the group in general; or worse—you’re answering questions that were actually being posed to a more senior member, you’ll likely rub people the wrong way because you’re just going to come off as a know-it-all.  Worse, you may be misunderstanding the question and wasting time (which I have seen happen and it’s always awkward).  Instead, ask yourself must I answer this question? If the answer is no, then think about passing.

Three. Pay attention.  I have a special relationship with my phone so I wanting to have it near, but do you really need your phone at the meeting?  Or better yet, do you need to check anything other than work email during a meeting?  I was a bad offender at this, but realized how bad it looks so I stopped because it’s disrespectful and dismissive to the main speaker and everyone else that may be presenting.  Yes, there are so many meetings where I wish I could check twitter, but instead I just take deep breaths and try to be patient because the alternative is looking purposefully disconnected from the group and that’s not how we want to be perceived at work (disclosure: I do start doodling my name when things start to drag—I am not perfect!).

All that being said, that doesn’t mean don’t participate or speak up at meetings. There is a happy medium between talking too much and never participating. But by being self-aware of what info to share and when to share it, you will present a much stronger presence in meetings. You’ll present yourself as an active listener, and you’ll be someone that moves the conversation forward rather than dragging it on forever.